OVERHEARD           April 14-April 20, 1999

Mike Thomas
The Pacific Sun

If you're going to spend a sunny April afternoon talking about death with a couple of strangers, you couldn't choose better companions than David Riccomi and Rena Fregosi. The two friendly, 40ish native San Franciscans have done a lot of thinking about the costly, rigid rituals our culture concocts to mark the last passage. Based on their own unfortunate wealth of personal experience, they say, there's plenty of room for improvement.

Early this year they took action and started a company that aims to add a unique, personalized dimension to the sober business of storing departed loved one's cremated remains. They call the outfit appropriately enough, Creative Cremains. The first of two client options involves commissioning a work of art in one's medium of choice. Custom-designed urns come in all shapes, sizes and materials. The only limits are imagination and cost. Alternatively, family keepsakes and artifacts of all sorts can be modified to hold the ashes of the deceased.

It's weird to sit down with two folks you just met and swap funeral stories, but that's what I did last Friday with Riccomi and Fregosi at their Hunter's Point office/workshop. Weirder still was pulling up a chair alongside a tiny shrine consisting of a framed photograph of Fregosi's late mother, Marie, surrounded by several ceramic frogs containing portions of her cremains. With all due respect, the display functions as sort of a house demo. And, Fregosi explains, there's poetic justice in that.

Because it was her mother's passing five years back that got the Redwood City single mom thinking seriously about interment alternatives. If you've ever had the misfortune of receiving a family member's ashen remains in a plastic bag sealed with a twist tie, you understand Fregosi's desire to make Marie's final resting place / or places- special. She got the idea of adapting her mother's treasured frog collection to the purpose. Next came the idea that other people might pay to go a similar route if someone respectful and responsible was available to make the arrangements.

Fregosi approached old friend Riccomi-her late husband's closest pal about developing a custom urn concern. (Kevin Fregosi died young and tragically 20 years ago. Like I said, these folks have endured their share of head-ons with the Reaper.) A contractor and carpenter, Riccomi liked the notion of working with his hands on a smaller scale. And if pooling their resources would help Rena thrive, so much the better.

Labor is divided like so: Fregosi, the people person, fields the contacts with clients and artists. Riccomi, the craftsman, does the keepsake conversions and handiwork. Both handle inurnments-but only when a completely finished urn has final approval from the customer.

You may not want to think about this stuff, but someday you'll probably have to. According to Jessica Mitford's The American Way of Death Revisited and other sources, Marin's 70 percent cremation rate is California's highest. That compares to 41 percent statewide and 21 percent nationally. Although recent state legislation lifted most restrictions on scattering the dead's ashes, some of us prefer to keep them near, to somehow feel a lost loved one's presence from beyond.

While Riccomi and Fregosi admit their service isn't for everyone, they hope to provide a meaningful lift to those in need. They peg as their target market families who've weathered the worst of the grieving process and begun clear-eyed consideration of a lasting memorial.

"It's an opportunity to do something creative in the spirit of the individual," Fregosi concludes, adding that the quirky alternative can also be an inexpensive one. "Funeral expenses are the third largest purchase a lot of people will ever make. We want to give them options. We want to do good things for people and make them feel good." Creative Cremains can be reached at 415/468-6044.